First Steps on the Long Journey

So, I’ve done it.

I came out to my wife as transsexual just over 2 weeks ago.

I had been questioning things within myself since September and it finally came to a full head three weeks ago. It was like I got hit by a freight train emotionally. I couldn’t not tell my wife. I gave it much thought for a week before telling her. The result? We are now separated.

We will likely stay friends once the shock and grief follows its course. This is not an easy thing for either of us to deal with. As she said today, “I feel numb”. I think the reason it hurts so much is that we both still love each other, but it is not something she can go through with me as my wife. I understand that and can accept it, even if it is difficult.

I saw my GP on my birthday and talked to her and got the ball rolling for seeing a therapist and moving forward with the transitioning process. My first visit with the therapist is on the 19th.

I am in a safe place, staying with a friend who is very supportive and allows me to be who I really am. I can’t keep living a lie.

I’ve also started going to a monthly support group and investigated permanent hair removal for my face. Budgeting everything during the transition will be a challenge, but quite doable. I’ve also had my ears pierced and started to be female when not out in the world.

It’s going to be a while before I come fully out and go for the real life experience and live full-time as female. There are so many things to factor in and prepare first. The transgendered community here is fantastic and very supportive. It will all come together as it is meant to over time and I just have to ride it and see where it all leads.

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