2011 & 2012: Looking Back and Looking Forward

Janus |ˈjānəs|
1 Roman Mythology an ancient Italian deity, guardian of doorways and gates and protector of the state in time of war. He is usually represented with two faces, so that he looks both forward and backward.

As 2011 is coming to a close I am looking back on the year that was, and the year that is to come. 2011 was an eventful year for me, the latest in a number of them. I came to realize that I need to make another significant change in my life and finish my degree, plan for post-graduate studies and move my life forward. I also fully came to realize that I had spent 27 years with depression of varying degrees. It started when I was nine years old and ended when I started HRT when I was 36. This has been a lot to work through and process.

In November I went on a retreat for 3 days, no cell phone, no computer. It was an intense weekend that covered a lot and quite emotional for me. After the weekend it took me at least a couple of weeks to work through and process my experiences and emotional responses. My eyes were opened as to where I need to be going in my life. A good friend told me within the past day or two that I am noticeably more determined and focused than I have ever been since she has known me. I realized that this is true.

Moving into 2012 I wrote visions for the end of 2012, 2013 and 2017. My vision for the end of 2021 hasn’t made it on to paper yet, but it will. The most important part of my visions is that I will have achieved my bachelor degree by September 2015 and move on into post-graduate studies. I am going to still be active in educating people on transgender / transsexual and other issues. I will continue to be involved politically and not just on trans* issues.

There will be a lot of work involved in achieving my vision and my goals and I am up for the challenge. I am finally fully awake and able to see my way forward in a positive light and achieve more than I can possibly imagine at this stage. I have come to realize that I am strong, I have a voice and that my voice will be heard.



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